My Perfect Miracle

24 years ago today, God gave me a wonderful gift and privilege when I was blessed with a perfect baby girl. I had always dreamed about having a baby, and finally realizing the joy when I held her was truly a special moment.

I was in labor for quite awhile, and she seemed to be taking her own time. Then, all of a sudden, she decided that now was the time to come out and play. I learned several years later that this was the way Stephie would get ready for school...dawdle around and then race out the door like a fire was under her feet! But, when the doctor handed this precious bundle to us, tears came down our faces as we looked on the miracle that God had given us. We didn't have any idea if we were having a girl or a boy, so when Jerry looked at me and said, "We have a beautiful baby girl", my heart was full.

Jerry and Stephie

Stephie has been so much fun to raise. Always being a happy child, she would sit on the step stool, with her sippy cup in her hand while I fixed dinner, and we would sing together. If you know me at all, you will not be surprised to learn that I didn't teach her ordinary children's songs. She learned show tunes and could belt out "Who Will Buy" (from Oliver) and "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" (Oklahoma) by the age of three. These were mixed with various Disney songs (The Little Mermaid songs were a favorite during bath time). She did adore singing Old MacDonald, but only if the animal could be a cat. We had our old Bitsy at that point, and Stephie adored Bitsy (although, the feeling was not reciprocated for several years). Stephie's first "word" (while I would love to say it was Momma) was "Guh" when she was ten months old. By dinner time, we had figured out that was her word for Bitsy. Her head would snap around when she heard Bitty in anticipation of getting to possibly see/catch Bitty. Bitsy learned to run very fast. It appears that her tendency towards becoming a crazy cat lady started early in life.

Helping me cook

Through the years, being able to watch Stephie grow and mature has been a gift. Although our move to Illinois wasn't quite the ideal couple of years (moving a 12-year-old wasn't very fun), she soon settled in and flourished over here. We've watched her faith grow, and her love for the less fortunate is truly heart-warming to see. Clearly, we are blessed and proud.

So, today, I celebrate our daughter's life and thank God for blessing us for the past 24 years. May God continue to bless and keep Stephie in His care and give us many more years to watch her continue to bless others with her presence.

Stephie, I love you more than words can say, and I consider it a privilege to be your momma and your friend. You are everything I wanted and more. Happy birthday, baby.

Momma

A Tribute to a Beautiful Woman

Today is my beautiful momma's birthday, and I would like to reflect on the privilege I have had having her as my momma for 55 years.

Momma and Grandfather Savage

Momma was born in Brookhaven, Mississippi, as an only child to my Ma-Ma and grandfather. From the moment she was born, she was loved with a passion that every child should know. Not only was she an only child, but she was the only grandchild on her dad's side, and the only grandchild that lived nearby on her mother's side. As a result, she got a lot of attention and love. I say this, knowing that one would assume that she was a spoiled only child, but truthfully, that's pretty far from the truth. Even though she was loved with everything they had, my grandparents did not allow her to be spoiled. As Ma-Ma would say, "You children aren't spoiled, just well-loved".

Momma around 8 years old

Momma grew up making many trips to New Orleans (both grandparents graduated from Tulane, and loved the city), and many summers were spent in North Carolina with my grandmother (Ma-Ma) and great-grandmother (Mommee). Children from the community were always coming over (her best friend, Virginia, was a frequent guest), so there wasn't any isolation for her. She dearly loved her parents, and my great-grandparents, Mommee and Poppee (Ma-Ma's parents). Her life revolved around school and parties. She claims that her senior year in high school was basically one giant dinner party. She was an accomplished pianist and oboist. Because she couldn't march with her oboe, she carried the bell lyre (which was the main reason I started playing the bells). She loved her band friends, and my grandmother promoted the band with all she had. As Momma's friend, Rita, once told me, "Truthfully, your momma was the only one that was really very good, but the rest of us kept practicing because we didn't want to disappoint your grandmother!" During the summers, she would attend music camps, and it was at one of these that she met the band director at a small university in Indiana named DePauw University. He started recruiting Momma for the school, and by the time her senior year came around, she had decided she wanted to attend DePauw. There was just one small issue--it was north of the Mason-Dixon line, and this just wasn't acceptable. My grandfather offered her any car she wanted if she would just stay south of this important line (they actually wanted her to attend Ole Miss), but she was determined to attend DePauw. So, off to DePauw she went, declaring a major in music education. That lasted a short time. She discovered a couple of things: 1. Music takes a lot of time, and she didn't want to spend all of her valuable potential party time in the practice room, and 2. Music theory is HARD (see #1) (as a side note, I figured out the same thing some 20 years later). Meanwhile, she had a class with Ken Wagoner, and he encouraged her to change majors to psychology, of which she did. She still talks about what an awesome professor Dr. Wagoner was.

Senior in high school piano recital

Through all of this, she met my dad, and became engaged to him. Plans were made to be married over spring break of her junior year (my dad's senior year). Forty days before they were to be married, my grandfather laid down for a nap and never woke up. They scaled down the reception, but kept the date. Not sure how they got through this time (Momma claims her grades weren't very good that semester), but if you know my momma at all, you know that she is a strong person that stands up to adversity and keeps going. 

Momma and Ma-Ma 1954

Ten months after she and Daddy were married, my brother, Steve was born. Two years later, I was born, and three years after me, Michael was born. Three babies in five years kept her very busy. The fall after Michael was born, Stephen contracted rheumatic fever and was bedridden for six months. It was discovered that Michael was allergic to milk, and I had pneumonia more than once that winter. To this day, I have no idea how she handled all of this, but she did. Our yard was always filled with neighborhood children, which she couldn't figure out why until she overheard a mother say to her child, "Go down to Barbara's. She likes kids." Of course, Momma couldn't turn them away.

After we were in school, Momma drove back and forth to Indiana State University and got her elementary education degree and began to teach 6th grade. She then got her masters from DePauw, and continued teaching for several years. In 1975, she and my dad separated and then divorced. In October of 1976, she married Allan Feld, and a few years later, quit teaching so that she could help operate the new carpet store that she and Allan had opened. In December of 1980, Allan suddenly got a terrible headache, and by dinnertime, had passed away from a massive cerebral hemorrhage. Momma was left with a brand-new business and no one to help her run it. I quit my job at the local children's clothing store, and for a year and a half, the two of us ran it. In 1982, Michael joined the business, and to this day, he and Momma, along with my sister-in-law, Julie, run the business. I'm so very proud of them and how they have continued to run a successful business for all of these years.

My momma is a passionate person. She loves her music, her animals, her yard and flowers, but most of all, she loves her children and her grandchildren. She will tell you how fantastic all of us are with very little encouragement. Her love for children doesn't stop at biological children. She adores her in-law children (they are considered one of her own) and through the years, has taken on children from the community, just like her mother did. She spent countless hours being a Girl Scout leader, as well as a Cub Scout leader. She spent hours accompanying students for music contest. We used to joke about her wanting to adopt every child in her classroom that she didn't think were loved the way that they should have been (truly, there were years that this was a real concern for me). Her hugs are just about the best thing in the world, and my husband will tell you that she loves him as much as she loves us. She just loves her family with all she has, as every mother should.

Our family at Amy and Joseph's wedding in August, 2012

So, today, I celebrate my Momma and rejoice that I have had so many wonderful years learning from her and trying to be half the momma that she is. Momma, I love you so very, very much and I'm so proud to be your daughter. With all my love, Julie

Fall thoughts

It's been quite awhile since I last posted a blog entry. Somehow, the summer got away from me, and now that Labor Day weekend has arrived, I'm beginning to think of fall and fall things. It's past strawberry and peach time, and I'm ready to start picking apples and watch the leaves turn. I love fall evenings, but I don't like the thought of winter weather.

It was a strange summer. The last time I remember a summer so hot and dry, I was pregnant with Stephie and living in North Carolina. I would stay in the house until Jerry had started up the car and let it run with the air conditioner going before I would waddle out to join him.

This was the summer of weddings. Stephie's best friend got married the end of June and then my niece, Amy, got married the first weekend of August at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago. The Cafe Brauer right next to the zoo was the actual venue, and it was beautiful. I so enjoyed seeing my family, as this was the first wedding of our girls. Amy was beautiful, and seeing Joseph (her new husband) with tears in his eyes as he watched Amy walk in on my brother's arm, was indeed a special moment. One thing that my brothers and I did right was raise some beautiful, awesome girls. I was able to get a picture of my momma with her granddaughters after the ceremony.

L-R Stephie, Katie, Joseph, Amy, Momma, Lainey, Liz

See what I mean? Beautiful girls from a beautiful grandmother. Time really flew quickly, and it's almost hard to believe that our girls are old enough to be married. Amy is now living with Joseph in Barcelona, Spain.

Stephie accepted a job with a wonderful NFP company named Jumpstart. She works out of Dominican University in River Forest, IL and recruits volunteers to work with at-risk preschool children with their literacy skills. It's a perfect job for my bookworm. :) She loves, loves, loves the people that she is working with and is so excited about her new position. We are thrilled for her.

Jerry and I are both looking forward to some cooler days to enjoy some outside activities before we head into winter weather. I'm going to attempt to be better about keeping up with this blog, if for no other reason than it just feels good to write about what's going on--even if no one reads it or cares (which is more than likely the case, and I'm certainly ok with that). So many people I care about are struggling with various health or personal issues that sometimes it's good for me to reflect on the good things that have happened. At times, I get so wrapped up in the problems that I forget all of the good that God has done for me and the people that I love, and I have to ask for His forgiveness that I focus on the wrong things. I'm thankful for the love that I have from my family and friends, and mostly for the love that God has for me.

I hope that each of you has a wonderful fall season. Eat lots of apples, make some apple cake and enjoy all things fall.

Lessons Learned

Today would have been my Ma-Ma's birthday. Because she died on January 17th, this is the time of year where I often think about her. It's been 13 years since she passed away, and I still miss her all of the time. So, I would like to reflect a little on her life and the lessons that I learned by having her as my grandmother.

1912 (approximately)

Ma-Ma was born in Magnolia, MS in 1907 to my Mommee and Poppee, and was adored by her parents. She had a little brother whom she adored, named Milton, but better known as Buddy. When she was five, Mommee found her "playing" the piano on the hall tree (they didn't have a piano). Mommee signed her up for lessons, and the music part of our lives began. She graduated from Tulane (the girl's section, which was called Sophie Newcomb) in 1929 with a double major in piano and organ performance and a minor in voice. That November, she married my grandfather--less than 2 weeks after the stock market crash. So, she started out in marriage with basically nothing. She always said that they never went without food, because people would pay my grandfather with chickens, vegetables, and anything that they could give him for his services (he was a doctor).  She learned to cook healthy because of my grandfather's health. He had contracted tuberculosis when he was a resident in New Orleans (he was also a graduate of Tulane medical school), and struggled with TB for several years. My momma was a beloved only child (although not an only child by choice), but Ma-Ma always said that none of us were spoiled--we were just "well-loved"! She loved the children of the town, and would do anything for them. She accompanied them in contests, played for their weddings, supported them, helped raise them and loved them like they were her own. Ma-Ma raised camillas, and even grafted them. She loved to arrange flowers, and the boys in the town would come to her and she would make their corsages for the dances and special occasions (I'm sure that the florists in town weren't happy). Of course, she did it for free.

March, 1954

Five weeks before my mother and daddy were supposed to get married, my grandfather came home for lunch, and laid down to take a nap. When she went in to wake him up, she discovered that he had passed away--at the age of 51. Somehow, she and Momma got through the wedding (they didn't change the date--just scaled down the reception). I can't imagine how she did it--or how Momma did it, but they did, because that's the type of women they are.

Five years later, Ma-Ma moved to Greencastle to help Momma, who by this time, had a four-year-old and a two-year-old and number three on the way. Personally, I think it was her best move ever, but she never did care for the north or being cold, or the snow.  She never did really forgive my momma for moving her up here.

She loved us dearly, though. The first year she lived in Greencastle, my older brother contracted rheumatic fever and my younger brother was born. While Steve was confined to bed for six months, and my mother's hands were a bit full, Ma-Ma would take me to her house and we would cook. So, from the time I was about two, she would put an apron on me, pull up a step-stool, put me on the stool, and let me "cook". My job was to stir whatever she was making. She always told me I did a wonderful job and that her food tasted better because I helped. When I was five, the two of us spent the month of November in Mississippi with my great-grandfather, and she taught me how to do embroidery and then sewing. I spent the month making a Christmas gift for Momma. She always had so much patience with me, but made sure that I did my best. How I miss being able to call her and ask her questions about cooking or sewing. She would have loved seeing my quilts and all of the madrigal dresses I made last year. And the music! At one point or another, through the years, she taught all three of us piano (although we had other teachers, too). She encouraged us in whatever instrument we wanted, and patiently drove Michael and me to lessons over in Terre Haute every week.  I can still see her little foot keeping beat to the music on television shows. I don't think she was even aware that she did it! Once PBS came around with the classical music shows, her life was complete. I remember going into her house one Sunday, and the PBS special was Vladimir Horowitz playing for the first time in many, many years in his home country of Russia. Tears were flowing down her face as she watched this incredible musician play some of her favorite numbers.

Piano Lessons!

Stephie described her as a "firecracker". That is an understatement. While she loved us dearly, she also let us know when she wasn't happy with something that we did. Momma and I made the mistake (in her opinion) of marrying a "Yankee". We were her "Yankee" grandchildren (we were, obviously, her only ones), but that's how she would introduce us. She never really did forgive Momma and me for not marrying a southern boy! When she died, we took her back to Mississippi to be buried next to her beloved husband. People came from all over to tell us how much she and my grandfather meant to them and their family. It was without a doubt the most touching thing that I have ever experienced. She had not lived in Mississippi for over 40 years, and these people that came were barely able to make it up the steps of the church, yet they made a special point to come see Momma and the three of us just to tell us how much they loved my grandparents.

Lessons learned from my Ma-Ma: Love your family with all that you have. Stand up for what you believe. Keep learning until you draw your last breath. Do what you love to do, and do your very best in all that you do, and you are capable of more than you think.

There's a part of Ma-Ma in all of us. While I love that she stood up for what she believed, there were many times that she could have been a little more--well, understanding. She did have a temper and if she didn't want to do something, she wouldn't do it! If she got really mad at you (especially if you messed with one of us), you were done for. So, I'm still learning that while standing up for what you believe is a good thing, you can still be loving in your convictions. I'm still working on that. Obviously, I never knew my grandfather, but Momma always said that he was the only person she knew that could really handle my grandmother. :)  I know that the two of them loved Momma dearly, and Momma in turned passed on the love to the three of us, and my job as a mother is to pass the unconditional love on to Stephie. If I am half the mother that either my grandmother or mother have been, I feel I will have done pretty good.

Ma-Ma, I miss you, but I see parts of your legacy in all of my family, and for that, I'm thankful.